I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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