I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
