i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
