is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
