I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dignity is for republicans.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
