there was a trapeze. enough said
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
