its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize