I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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