she looked like the before picture.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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