I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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