THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They have beer where we have blood.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
where are my eyebrows?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
