O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
