Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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