My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
