I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Bring me that man meat
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
