I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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