woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
