Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
