Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i out mim tonsoeep
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