I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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