If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's official drugs can't kill me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i think my cat just said my name.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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