We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
