I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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