Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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