Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
