She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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