too bad you live with your parents still
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i believe in u and ur pee
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