The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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