If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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