Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Boobs are out for the taking
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
