you guys were way drunker than both of me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
