when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
