I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
