I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
