and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
