p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize