You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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