people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
we should paint friendship bongs
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