I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
