Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
