and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
