Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we're making bets on your personal life
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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