i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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