get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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