Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
