her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
