standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
