this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
