No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
