summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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