Quick, to the slutcave!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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