Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
