party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Randomize
