i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
