I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
