so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
