We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
