So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
