So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
