I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
